Still a bad blogger...

So, I haven't really had time to avail myself yet of the exciting high speed internet and cable TV at home due to my sister's illness, but soon I will begin blogging more regularly, I promise! In fact, you very likely will be reading some blog posts ABOUT cable TV in the near future.

I've been a bad, bad blogger

Okay, so I haven't written anything since Thursday. Well, some people have to WORK around here!!! But you should expect my blogging activities to increase because I just got HIGH SPEED INTERNET installed at my house!!! And cable TV...with the on-screen guide...I LOVE the on-screen guide! I am worried that between high-speed internet AND cable TV, I may never leave my house again.

My new future husband...Jim from the Office

Okay, I've thought for the past year or so that the Office was the funniest sitcom on television, but it was never on at a convenient time for me. A few weeks ago, however, I caught a marathon of four episodes in a row and really developed a new TV obsession. And a big part of this obsession is my choice of Jim as my future husband...the actor is from Boston! I bet he's a Red Sox fan! We could go cheer for Youuuuuuuuuuuuuk and Little Papey together!!!! Check out this interview, he is so adorable: Give Me My Remote EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with the Stars of The Office.

Some of my favorite quotes from recent episodes:

Michael: Tonight, the Scranton Business Park is having Casino Night, and we are converting our warehouse into a full-blown gambling hall. And I know it’s illegal in Pennsylvania, but uh, it’s for charity, and I consider myself a great philanderer.

Michael: You are the Eva Peron to my Cesar Chavez. (that one's for you, Bets)

Michael: AIDs is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.

Darryl: I taught Mike some uh, some phrases to help with his interracial conversations, you know, stuff like, “fleece it out,” “goin’ Mach 5,” “dinkin’ flicka,” you know, things us Negroes say.

Michael: Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.

Michael: I am the skipper, and Dwight, you will be Gilligan.
Dwight: Cool.
Captain Jack: Actually, uh, I’m the skipper. But you can be Gilligan.
Michael: No, I’d rather die.

Phyllis: Um, the Da Vinci Code.
Angela: The Da Vinci Code. I would take the Da Vinci Code. So I could burn the Da Vinci Code.
Dwight: Okay, great, that’s gonna keep you warm for like, seven seconds. Question: is there firewood on the island?
Jim: I guess?
Dwight: Then I would bring an ax, no books.
Jim: No, it has to be a book, Dwight.
Dwight: Fine. Physician’s Desk Reference.
Jim: Nice. Smart.
Dwight: Hollowed out. Inside, waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and … in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question: did my shoes come off in the plane crash?

Red Stapler Status Update

Just in case anyone was wondering, I did eventually find my red stapler. It was stuffed into the back of one of the cubbies in my desk.

High School Metaphors

One of my favorite email forwards that's been going around for years recently rearrived in my inbox...thought I'd share a few of my favorite "real metaphors and similes from high school students"!

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

Has anybody seen my red stapler?

While I was out sick, they moved my office all around (we are renovating) and now I can't find my red stapler...it's so sad...I feel like Milton in Office Space. "Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler..." My life is SO Office Space.

Dave, Papi, Lance, and Me, Partying at Fenway

BetsLeigh82 (12:40:13 PM): i'm going to see dave in july too
QueenJaneHummer (12:40:21 PM): at Fenway Park with Sheryl Crow?!!?!
BetsLeigh82 (12:40:24 PM): no
BetsLeigh82 (12:40:26 PM): haha
QueenJaneHummer (12:40:28 PM): darn
QueenJaneHummer (12:40:32 PM): that's the one I want to go to
BetsLeigh82 (12:40:32 PM): i wish
QueenJaneHummer (12:40:35 PM): how sweet would that be
BetsLeigh82 (12:40:46 PM): i don't even want to think about it
QueenJaneHummer (12:41:09 PM): i would freak out
QueenJaneHummer (12:41:16 PM): I wonder if the Red Sox would be there
QueenJaneHummer (12:41:41 PM): I would like to party with Dave Matthews and David Ortiz
QueenJaneHummer (12:41:43 PM): that sounds like fun
QueenJaneHummer (12:41:52 PM): maybe LANCE would be there
QueenJaneHummer (12:41:57 PM): except they broke up
BetsLeigh82 (12:44:31 PM): yea
BetsLeigh82 (12:44:35 PM): i doubt he would be there
QueenJaneHummer (12:44:44 PM): it would be a cool party though
BetsLeigh82 (12:44:46 PM): and i don't really know about the rest of the red sox
QueenJaneHummer (12:44:50 PM): Dave, Papi, and Lance
QueenJaneHummer (12:44:52 PM): and me
BetsLeigh82 (12:44:58 PM): that's almost poetic
QueenJaneHummer (12:45:06 PM): maybe I'll add it to my blog

Nostalgia for College/Outrage Over Paying for Internet

Just went up to campus to practice the piano. It was so pretty walking through the campus, especially when I came across an art class situated along the lagoon (I think that's what they call it?) all painting or drawing the bridge. It made me nostalgic for my college days when I lived on a beautiful campus surrounded by creative and amazing people. Now I just semi-co-exist with potentially creative and amazing people who I don't know.

On to topic two - just discovered that there's no free internet access at Starbucks. You have to buy a plan with T-Mobile! It costs $6 for the first hour and $0.10/minute after that...well, what if I only wanted 20 minutes of access?!? Lame. Not coming here any more, even if it is convenient to the piano practice rooms. I'll go to the Boulder Bookstore cafe when I want internet access. Support local businesses!

How to Discuss LOST Intelligently, Even if You've Never Seen it

Just found a hilarious blog with this entry entitled [this blog will be titled when inspiration strikes me]: How to Discuss LOST Intelligently, Even if You've Never Seen it: Three Simple Steps. It has descriptions of all the characters. I recognize its value is somewhat diminished considering that we are in reruns and there's not likely to be much water-cooler discussion of Lost for a few more months, but it's still worth reading for sheer entertainment. My favorite part: "Mr. Eko,
Priest/Drug Smuggler. Identifiable by: walks tall, carries big stick. Story: Mr. Eko is a paradox, in the sense that he doesn't talk much yet beats many people to death with a stick."

Weekend Round-up

Sitting here having lunch...eating carrots and thinking about the weekend. I got a lot done - errands, cleaning, practicing the piano, etc. But I also enjoyed just chilling around with the dog, watching movies and listening to music. I especially loved the movie Shall We Dance?, not the lame Richard Gere-J. Lo version, but the original Japanese version - a beautiful and fascinating film. Favorite quote: "At my age, it's embarrassing to say so, but every day I feel so alive." Also enjoyed listening to the Jack Johnson soundtrack to Curious George, which is an unbelievably awesome CD. I love the song Questions, and also the Three R's (reduce, reuse, recycle). I pretty much love every song on the CD, actually.

I will never lock myself out of my house again

So, a couple of weekends ago, I was on my way to a Memorial Day barbecue hosted by my friends Adam and Celia, and I had just stepped out the door with my dog's leash in one hand and my famous bean dip and the awesome party game Apples to Apples in the other, when I realized as the door shut with a click that the keys were sitting on the kitchen counter. And yes, the door was locked. It was not the first time I had locked myself out of the house, oh no, that would be the very first morning in my new place when I was still in my pajamas and had to go up to my new neighbors and use their phone to find a locksmith on a Sunday morning. It cost me $75 and took two hours to unlock that time, so I could only imagine what an ordeal it would be on Memorial Day with most locksmiths probably enjoying the holiday with their families! So, determined to get back into the house without calling a locksmith, I checked the windows. Two were open, but only about 2 inches, and they were locked in place. I thought if I could just jimmy the lock with something, I might be able to open it wider, so I went to my neighbors' house and asked if I could have a wire coat hanger. At first I tried completely unbending the coat hanger and snaking it up through the open part of the window, but I couldn't get the necessary leverage. Then I realized that by creating several short bends in the wire, I could sneak it through between the two window panes where they overlapped, and get very close to the lock. It took me a while to get the wire into exactly the right shape, but finally, success! I was able to hook the wire around the lock and by shaking the window, nudged the lock into the unlocked position. I tried to throw open the sash (Night Before Christmas-style), but alas, there was another peg holding the window in place, and this one was spring-loaded. I was only able to open it about 6 inches wide. My head wouldn't fit through, so I was quite sure the rest of my body wouldn't either. I thought about getting a small child and sliding it through the opening, but there were none on hand. I cursed myself for never teaching my dog to find my keys. So I decided to try my bendy wire hanger technique on the kitchen window instead. While it took me about 30 minutes to unlock the living room window, I broke into the kitchen window in about 60 seconds flat! I (oh so gracefully) slid in the window, over the recycling, and retrieved the keys. Why I am telling this story today? Because one of the many errands and to-dos I've accomplished this weekend was getting spare keys made. Woohoo!

Shonda Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes, for those of you living under a ROCK, is the awesome creator of Grey's Anatomy, which is (for those of you living under a ROCK) the best show on television these days. I just read her blog Grey Matter about the season finale. She is so freakin' awesome. In addition to being a brilliant writer and the first African-American woman to create a top-rated scripted TV show, I think she should become my therapist.

Sick and outraged Jane

Stayed home from work with a sore throat yesterday. I thought I might be getting strep again, but now I think it's just allergies. I hate being home, with no internet access and no idea what's going on in the outside world! I slept a lot of the morning, then spent the afternoon drinking tea and reading Time magazine's article about Haditha and getting outraged that our government forced these good men into a situation where they completely lost their moral balance. I mean, so much attention is focused on the "costs" of the war in Iraq - the actual dollar costs and the lives lost. But what about the soldiers who survive and have to live with the fact that they committed atrocities like Abu Ghraib or Haditha?!?

Words from an elitist, overeducated East Coast girl

Well, the writing class wasn't all that I hoped for. I liked the format, sitting around in a small group discussing things, but I didn't think the teacher or the other students were particularly bright or interesting. There was a lot of "let's say abstract, empty things in the hopes that they sound profound!" and also "let's bash on those elitist, overeducated people from the East Coast" and I am definitely one of those elitist, overeducated people from the East Coast...my Bowdoin education has spoiled me for other academic experiences! I guess I really expected something more like the writing classes that I took at Bowdoin. Plus, I realized sitting in class that the types of literature that we were discussing (mainly memoirs and other non-fiction books told in a narrative fashion) aren't the types of books that I like READING, much less have any interest in writing. So I think I will drop out of the class and look for something different.

An ordinary Tuesday...

Nothing super exciting to write about today...work was pretty busy, but not overly stressful. I had to get a proposal out by 2 PM, and then things quieted down significantly. Stuart (co-worker) and I took a caffeine break and went to this cafe where he likes to flirt with the baristas. They have really yummy chai there, which I enjoyed very much, but then regretted because it's about 90 degrees out and I think the chai may have dangerously raised my internal body temperature!

I'm depressed about the thrashing my beloved Red Sox took from the evil Yankees last night. I was going to go to the Lazy Dog to watch Beckett pitch, but when I saw the score after the second inning, I decided to stay home and play with my dog Fenway instead.

I have my first "creative nonfiction" writing course at CU tonight, and I'm really excited about it cause I think it will be a good source of inspiration/motivation for writing, and also a good way to meet interesting and intelligent people.

Bolder Boulder

So, I live in Boulder, Colorado, which is famous for (among other things) a 10K race known as the Bolder Boulder. It's one of the largest road races in the world, and over 45,000 people run/walk in it each year. By the time I made it down to the course, it was definitely the "walk-joggers" wave (emphasis on the "walk"), but I got to see literally thousands of participants streaming through the streets of Boulder. It was a pretty amazing sight. I was watching near the corner where the TV crews were set up, and it was funny to see a bunch of walkers break out into a run for the cameras!



There were bands playing all along the course. Some people were wearing costumes (including Wonder Woman and a banana - guess Frank forgot to invite her to his party!) and everyone seemed to be having a great time! Next year I'd like to attempt to run/walk it. I walked up to Folsom Field where the race ended, to hear the national anthem and see the military flyover (Top Gun, anyone? I feel the need...the need for speed!); it was a pretty cool "only in Boulder" kinda day.

Frank's Banana Birthday Party

Some photos from Frank's banana-themed birthday party, which was held at Mara's house last weekend. The party's festivities included a banana music soundtrack, a banana shaped cake, and rousing games of hot banana, bobbing for bananas, and pin the tail on the monkey! The last photo is of the "official commemorative banana" that I made for Frank.

Clemens' missed opportunity

I read this great opinion piece on Yahoo Sports a few days ago about Roger Clemens' decision to resign with the Astros instead of the Red Sox. As someone who loves the human drama aspect of baseball (and someone whose earliest baseball-related memories are hoping to find a Roger Clemens in the packs of baseball cards I'd buy at Puffin Stop!), I have to agree with the author that Clemens really did miss an opportunity for a totally captivating last baseball season at Fenway.

One More Time

I have started and quickly ignored several blogs over the past few years, but as I am trying to incorporate more writing into my life, I am going to give the old Adventures of Queen Jane blog one more go! This is not a thematic blog, unless my brain counts as a theme...really I just envision it as being a place where I can share photos, opinions, memories, random thoughts, and maybe more extensive writing, as time and/or creativity allows.